Both of my children were supposed to spend the day with my mom today — swimming, playing, and general spoiling of the grandmother variety. I was going to spend the day at one appointment, running {child-free} errands, and catching up on blogging activities.
At the last minute, my 5 1/2 year old son lost his shizzle and tearfully proclaimed that he wanted to stay with me.
Episodes like this have been common in the last few weeks. I don’t know what it is –maybe it’s the upcoming transition of preschool to kindergarten– but it’s throwing us for a loop. There’s a lot more crying and clinging on my son’s part. If he could reattach his umbilical chord, he would.
As for today, it wasn’t a problem. I quickly realized that the boy just needs some one-on-one time with his mama. So off we went for my appointment — a bikini wax, no less! After that, the only other thing we *had* to do was order The Little Girl’s flower girl dress for the wedding.
My little buddy and I window shopped, ate pretzels, and threw pennies in the fountain. We strolled, we held hands, and we loved.
We got deli sandwiches, and he had a gelato. We went home and played legos. Then trains. We cuddled, we chatted, we smiled A LOT.
I had one of my most favorite days in a long time, thanks to him.
All you mamas out there — is this *normal*? Did your children (particularly your sons) go through a phase like this when they were 5 or 6? Any advice?
This post has been shared with Melissa’s Beautiful Life series on Fridays and with Emily’s Chatting with the Sky series on Tuesdays.
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
My 5yo daughter is going through this right now! I’m relieved to see someone else saying the same thing. Hopefully it is just a stage.
What a perfect day with your little guy. The one on one time can do wonders. I had an afternoon with just my son a few days ago, and he ate it up. So did I, actually.
My son turns five in a few months, so I can’t speak for what’s “normal” at this age or offer any advice. But I do think what you’ve just done–spending quality time with him for a whole day–would have to really help, particularly in allowing him to feel secure in his relationship with you.
Sounds like a great day. I don’t know. I’ve never really left my kids. We would go out on date from time to time but they loved their sitters and we never had any problems. I’m fairly certain this is very normal and I’d say just got with it till he feels secure.
Sounds like an awesome day! All kids go through this at different ages. My three year old has been doing the same to me lately. It’s just the change of summer time (with the other kids home!) He just needs mommy time to himself, and good for you for giving in to him!!
Sounds like you had a lovely time! We aren’t “there” yet but I know my oldest (4.5) absolutely adores going on dates with either me or my husband. Daddy takes him bowling, and with me he usually wants to go sit at Starbucks, enjoying a vanilla milk, and reading the books they have there for kids.
I adore these moments, and try to remind myself when I’m frustrated with his clinginess that soon he won’t want much to do with me (I hope this isn’t true! lol)
No insight. But you’re such a great mom to pick-up on your guy’s cues and respond so lovingly. Thanks for sharing. {And what a smile!}
My oldest is 5, and he also seems to go through times when he’s not quite himself. I love it that you had a chance to spend some one-on-one time with your little guy. It sounds like it’s exactly what he needed.
I don’t think my guy ever really did this-he was always (and is) thrilled to hang out with friends or grandparents. But I do know that he’s much better at vocalizing what he needs now that he’s 6-maybe this is where you’re guy is too. And you did have a week away recently, didn’t you? Maybe he’s just a bit nervous because of that?
Hey K, I don’t have kids so can’t comment but I have to say, it’s so awesome that you changed your plans and ran with your intuition. It was obviously exactly what was needed. It’s a real lesson in being flexible, present and sensitive to your little guy’s needs. Living mindfully if ever I saw it!
@ Rinelle~
Oh good, I’m glad I’m not the only one. It’s probably just a phase they’re going through…
@ Jo~
I love spending time one-on-one with my kids — they act very differently when they’re on their own. And each of them are different and fun in their own little way.
@ renee~
I haven’t left my kids very much, either — not even with sitters. They’ve have a few, but we’ve never stuck iwith it. My mom has been the primary childcare when we’re not around, God bless her.
@ chele~
Yeah, I think you’re right. It’s a phase, and even when we get through this phase, it will probably cycle back around again. Either that, or then it will be my daughter’s turn to *need* me more. ; )
@ Ang~
My son likes time with Daddy too, but he’s much more of a mama’s boy than Daddy’s boy. And as much as that exhausts me, you *know* I love it! I’m going to enjoy every precious moment of it, because soon he’ll be embarrassed to *have* a mother!!
@ Amy~
Thanks mamacita. He gets that gorgeous smile from his dad — I was a tried and true “brace face.”
@ heather~
I had as much fun one-on-one with him as he had! Now we’re planning weekly *dates*. Thanks for stopping by!
@ Gina~
Yeah, but our week-away was several weeks ago! Do you think this is a belated reaction? Hmmm…maybe.
@ Sami~
As for the mindful living, I was totally aware of that while we shopped around. I was watching his golden hair blowing in the wind, and I thought, “This is as mindful as it gets.” {smile}
go with it. one day - he might not even talk to you! it sounds like a very nice day was had by both of you which would not have happened had you not taken him.
@ Denise~
I know, I know. I dread the teenage years when I am no longer *cool*. I have two brothers, and each of them had [and have] very different relationships with my mom.
mine seemed to gracefully float right on to kindergarten, but i know that i was a lucky one. i think it is normal for them to have some clingy times… but what a gift this day was! i am learning all too quickly that time spent with your kids is more than just time…
and you got a picture to prove he was happy!
Enjoy all the moments , however they unfold or cling to you.
You will fell them lingering just enough to carry you through nasty always getting older stuff.
And most of mine are teens, and still have lots of clinging days.
What a sweet post. I love his ear-to-ear grin.
Yes, I think it’s normal to want to stay with mommy. Even my nine year old sometimes just wants to stay back and hang out with me even if it’s time to go be with daddy. I think it’s sweet that you ended up having such a wonderful time with him.
I love your perspective on spending the day with your sweet boy. You could have been totally annoyed, but you ate up the moments with him instead. That rocks.
Mine are only four and two, but I do remember my best friend talking about age 5, how her son reverted back to some pretty heavy-duty separation anxiety. She recommends a series of books that have the simple title of “Your five year old” (there’s one for each age) They tell you all that’s “normal” developmentally for each year and it’s always SPOT ON and so reassuring.
Sorry to write a book in your comments…
So nice to “meet” you
(came from Chatting at the Sky)
Sounds like a wonderful day. My son just generally has gotten more lovey as he has grown older. It’s kind of nice. Usually.
@ Dawn~
I’m learning that kids seem to *float through* different things — if it’s not one thing, it’s another. It’s nice not to have to struggle through every phase of their lives.
@ deb~
Thanks — that’s good to know. I have a feeling my son is the type to always go in and out of clinginess.
@ Katrina~
Yes, we had a wonderful time together! We’ve decided to do something -just us- each week. ; )
@ Heather~
Thanks for the book tip! I’ll have to look up that series of books. My son’s preschool teacher was ‘warning’ several of us moms that there would be some odd behavioral changes this summer, preceding kindergarten. I didn’t know what she meant…now I do.
@ erin~
It’s a funny thing about sons…they’re different from daughters. Not bad, not good, just *different.*
Awwww ~ Way to make the most of your change in plans. It sounds like you had a fantastic one on one day with your son. It might have been just what he needed. Have you tried talking to him about what he is thinking? Not sure if that would help but maybe he might open up…..Just a thought.